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The one thing I love about God, is that you never know what He's going to do next. You're constantly stuck in this place of surprise. You never know how and when He's going to show himself to you - most of the time, it's in the most unexpected place/time. Whether it's through a simple trip to Christchurch, or by the year 11 and 12 music class.

I walked into the classroom yesterday and was welcomed by a beautiful melody. The teacher spotted me and asked if I wanted to hear more. Obviously I said yes and then they proceeded to sing one of my favourite songs, Kia Kaha. As they began to sing the song, all I felt was tired. After a hard night of losing a friend and just not feeling on top of the world, I guess you could say I didn't want to be there. But as the song progressed, I found myself being moved. Not in the sense that my body was physically moving, but more like I found my soul slowly starting to come alive - weird huh?

As the song built, I really honestly wanted to cry. Instead of hearing students singing such a beautiful song, it sounded more like the voice of God;

Kia kaha
Kia maia 
Kia manawanui 

Be strong
Be steadfast 
Be willing

It felt as if God's arms were wrapped around me and in that moment, in that classroom, all I could hear was Him, and that's all I wanted. God is more than enough for me and I'm constantly grateful for the unexpected.

Who knew that after a pretty hard night, coming into my work place the next day -- God would be show up. If anything, it reminded me that God is everywhere, and if you've never heard from Him, my number one tip is to stay aware. Because you don't know who/how/when. You don't know who He's going to talk to you through, you don't know how He's going to do it, and you most definitely don't know when.

So keep your head up and remember God has got your back - there's hope in the unexpected.


THE UNEXPECTED

Thursday, 27 July 2017



The one thing I love about God, is that you never know what He's going to do next. You're constantly stuck in this place of surprise. You never know how and when He's going to show himself to you - most of the time, it's in the most unexpected place/time. Whether it's through a simple trip to Christchurch, or by the year 11 and 12 music class.

I walked into the classroom yesterday and was welcomed by a beautiful melody. The teacher spotted me and asked if I wanted to hear more. Obviously I said yes and then they proceeded to sing one of my favourite songs, Kia Kaha. As they began to sing the song, all I felt was tired. After a hard night of losing a friend and just not feeling on top of the world, I guess you could say I didn't want to be there. But as the song progressed, I found myself being moved. Not in the sense that my body was physically moving, but more like I found my soul slowly starting to come alive - weird huh?

As the song built, I really honestly wanted to cry. Instead of hearing students singing such a beautiful song, it sounded more like the voice of God;

Kia kaha
Kia maia 
Kia manawanui 

Be strong
Be steadfast 
Be willing

It felt as if God's arms were wrapped around me and in that moment, in that classroom, all I could hear was Him, and that's all I wanted. God is more than enough for me and I'm constantly grateful for the unexpected.

Who knew that after a pretty hard night, coming into my work place the next day -- God would be show up. If anything, it reminded me that God is everywhere, and if you've never heard from Him, my number one tip is to stay aware. Because you don't know who/how/when. You don't know who He's going to talk to you through, you don't know how He's going to do it, and you most definitely don't know when.

So keep your head up and remember God has got your back - there's hope in the unexpected.






















You'll never believe it - until my trip to Christchurch 2 weeks ago, I hadn't been on a plane since I was 5. Ridiculous I know. You would think I'd be terribly nervous but it was totally fine and in fact, gave me a love for flying. More trips please!!

For my birthday this year, I really wanted to go on a trip but I couldn't figure out where. I then remembered all my connections in Christchurch and I thought, perfect! I'll grab a group of my friends and we'll spend a weekend down there to just relax before life, uni and work kick back up again. We went down a month after my birthday but it was definitely worth the wait. I really didn't like waiting for 4 hours in the airport because our flight kept getting delayed though. But we made it, and it's definitely a weekend I'll remember forever.


We arrived pretty late in Christchurch, approximately 10:30pm and by the time we got to our accomodation, it was almost an hour later. We were pretty knackered but realising we were in Christchurch was getting us through and we were more excited than anything else. We woke up Saturday morning literally above the clouds. It was absolutely stunning - such a beautiful way to start the day. It was something I had never seen before and I just felt so blessed.

I'm not going to go too in depth about what we did throughout the weekend because we did heaps but what I do want to say is that I am so thankful. I'm so thankful for the opportunity to even go down south. I'm thankful for the hospitality of my friends. I'm thankful for the things I saw and the places we went. Christchurch is honestly so beautiful - I could see myself living there.










I'm thankful for God's creation and His grace. We didn't deserve any of what we experienced but God thought otherwise and it was a beautiful experience. Experiencing God through nature and other people is way more exciting than just experiencing Him in church - which by the way, is also awesome.

Christchurch was the perfect getaway and honestly opened my eyes to see how much God truly loves me. Everything worked out perfectly and I was happy. After you've experienced trouble and you think your life has gone downhill, more often than not you find yourself stuck in the mindset that life can't get any better. Christchurch was part of my recovery and since then life has been so delightful - I'm so filled with peace.


My prayer for you is that you find your peace. That you find God in the silence, and also in the chaos. That your heart hungers for more of Him and you experience Him in your everyday life, that you'll draw closer to Him. I pray He lights your path and that you'll always remember you're never alone for He walks with you.


"Never will I leave you;
               Never will I forsake you."

- Hebrews 13:5b NIV


Hope you guys are having a wonderful week! Sorry my post schedule is a bit wild, still trying to figure it out. Thanks for reading this post!

Until next time X



A WEEKEND IN CHRISTCHURCH

Monday, 24 July 2017





















You'll never believe it - until my trip to Christchurch 2 weeks ago, I hadn't been on a plane since I was 5. Ridiculous I know. You would think I'd be terribly nervous but it was totally fine and in fact, gave me a love for flying. More trips please!!

For my birthday this year, I really wanted to go on a trip but I couldn't figure out where. I then remembered all my connections in Christchurch and I thought, perfect! I'll grab a group of my friends and we'll spend a weekend down there to just relax before life, uni and work kick back up again. We went down a month after my birthday but it was definitely worth the wait. I really didn't like waiting for 4 hours in the airport because our flight kept getting delayed though. But we made it, and it's definitely a weekend I'll remember forever.


We arrived pretty late in Christchurch, approximately 10:30pm and by the time we got to our accomodation, it was almost an hour later. We were pretty knackered but realising we were in Christchurch was getting us through and we were more excited than anything else. We woke up Saturday morning literally above the clouds. It was absolutely stunning - such a beautiful way to start the day. It was something I had never seen before and I just felt so blessed.

I'm not going to go too in depth about what we did throughout the weekend because we did heaps but what I do want to say is that I am so thankful. I'm so thankful for the opportunity to even go down south. I'm thankful for the hospitality of my friends. I'm thankful for the things I saw and the places we went. Christchurch is honestly so beautiful - I could see myself living there.










I'm thankful for God's creation and His grace. We didn't deserve any of what we experienced but God thought otherwise and it was a beautiful experience. Experiencing God through nature and other people is way more exciting than just experiencing Him in church - which by the way, is also awesome.

Christchurch was the perfect getaway and honestly opened my eyes to see how much God truly loves me. Everything worked out perfectly and I was happy. After you've experienced trouble and you think your life has gone downhill, more often than not you find yourself stuck in the mindset that life can't get any better. Christchurch was part of my recovery and since then life has been so delightful - I'm so filled with peace.


My prayer for you is that you find your peace. That you find God in the silence, and also in the chaos. That your heart hungers for more of Him and you experience Him in your everyday life, that you'll draw closer to Him. I pray He lights your path and that you'll always remember you're never alone for He walks with you.


"Never will I leave you;
               Never will I forsake you."

- Hebrews 13:5b NIV


Hope you guys are having a wonderful week! Sorry my post schedule is a bit wild, still trying to figure it out. Thanks for reading this post!

Until next time X





Hey there!! I’m Lavinia; an eighteen y/o girl in love with my Saviour, fashion and all things pink.  I’m so excited to be able to do this guest post! I should admit when Sarah first asked me to share part of my testimony I was a little like ahh... See I’ve only ever shared my testimony once before, to my graduating classmates and I wasn’t too happy with the way that one turned out. Anyways so new slate (blank word doc) whatever, let’s do this.

All my life I've been fully immersed in the Christian faith. I went to Christian schools and my family religiously attends church every Sunday. I went to Girls Rally and Sunday School so it was feasible for me to grow up thinking that I was a good little Christian girl. Like most children brought up in the same circumstances as me I accepted Jesus as my Saviour and Lord when I was four. Or that’s what my mother tells me. I don’t remember that but I remember not having a relationship with God for most my life up until now. Sure, some day’s I’d feel a twinge of guilt over how I acted and recommit, promise myself I’d stop acting as I did and try to follow Gods footsteps but after a few days the warm fuzzy feeling would wear off and I would continue with my life.

https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-XwKsCCr_e-U/WVL9PgWTCEI/AAAAAAAAJC4/XoMzY8wlLv8Nn452MiMfnMkKCQjiXnfTwCLcBGAs/s640/7591801D-955C-478F-9D61-A0DFBC87B62A.png
"All my life I've been fully immersed in the Christian faith"

Ever since I was a little girl I was what society deemed “boy-crazy”. I was the five y/o with a crush, the seven y/o who ran around after boys trying to get them to kiss her (they never did), and the 12v who obsessed over the same guy for longer than she should have. Unfortunately, that particular 12v mindset didn’t depart from me until a couple of months ago, but that’s a story for another day. The point I’m trying to get across is I was that girl who could fall in and out of like with a guy at a moment’s notice.


https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-SIXid1X08nE/WVL9BDkgBxI/AAAAAAAAJC0/7jHoPwP36DAyRWRiOiUfILlaIcXFmJ62QCLcBGAs/s640/4646C6AB-11FA-4996-B220-FB4D10E7E8EF.png
age: two.

When I was fifteen I was insanely in “love” with this guy. We were six days into our “official” relationship when he broke up with me for family reasons. Looking back that was the most 12v relationship of all time, probably belongs in the Guinness book of world records or something. But however stupid it seems now back then it absolutely crushed me. I kept running over those six days in my head trying to figure out what I could have done to change the mess I was in then. The friend and family dramas that followed in the weeks after that pushed me deeper and deeper into the web of depression I found myself entrapped in. About that time I became obsessed with the song Human by Christina Perri. In that song, she sings the lyrics “I can force a smile, I can fake a laugh” those six words became my mantra throughout year 11. Force a smile, fake a laugh, and everything will be okay. I convinced myself that if everything looked okay on the outside the lost feeling I had inside would slowly disappear, that I would forget that every day on the way home from school I just wanted to run in front of a bus and die. That year was the year I felt the furthest from God, my friends, my family, anything really. I was too scared to tell anyone what I was going through and how messed up my mind had gotten that I tried my hardest to fake normality. I would stand up on stage in worship every couple of Sundays and force a smile, fake a laugh, anything to convince the world around me that I wasn’t living in the ashes of my self-implosion. With the help of a friend, I rebuilt my shallow polystyrene world. I got to the point where I could smile and it wouldn’t be forced, some days I felt happy and others I thought I was falling back into the downward spiral. It was a very two steps forward one step back situation but thankfully I got out of that hole. 

After that life continued as normally as it could, I worked my butt off to bring my grades back to where they should be, to actually be friends with my friends and not the random loser girl who sat with them but never said anything. I made amends with my past and slipped back a few times but never as deep as I had been and tried my hardest to move on into my future.

A year and a half went by before I found myself at night church with a bunch of friends where the preacher was preaching a sermon from Matthew 6; focussing specifically on verse 33 where Jesus commands us to "Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." He highlighted the fact that in order to seek God we have to come to him. He doesn't come to us. It literally hit me like a ton of bricks that for my whole life I had been rocking along identifying as a Christian but really I had never sought out the kingdom of God for myself. So on the 25th September 2016, I recommitted my life to the Lord.

https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-MZ-Ixa1-TpI/WVMNxnRWZCI/AAAAAAAAJDM/1uesWF7Hs1I3JVdi_VKgyU30uy5C7YF4gCEwYBhgL/s640/IMGP3985.JPG


Ever since then I've been constantly learning more about who God is and what it means to be a Christian but for me, the biggest lesson I (finally) learned was a couple of months ago when I was at work. I was busy working drive thru (I work at Maccas) with another girl; when one of the managers (who wasn't even running the shift) came in all high and mighty saying that we were so slow, that we were letting down the whole team, it was all our fault that drive was backed up and I was just standing there like bruh? We just got told that kitchen was slow (by the actual manager of the shift). She just looked at me and was like "No Lavinia this one's your fault." Then I got sent on a break and thought everything would work itself out while I was gone. It didn’t. The girl I was working with finished her shift so I was in the drive thru all by myself while it was still crazy busy and IDK this manager chick just got stuck in my head and all I could hear as I took the orders was how bad I was and how I was letting down the whole team. In that moment everything that had happened since the beginning of the year; all the failed friendships, the stuffed up life plans, the ridicule, the opinions and the disappointment all just piled up into one big tumbleweed of shit and I just melted down right there in front of some strange women who probably low key started freaking out. I mean what do you do when the cashier just starts bawling her eyes out for no reason?? I guess that’s the great thing about life you can go from cloud nine to 55 feet under in 2 seconds flat.This wasn’t a new thing for me. Well, it kind of was. Normally people get into my head when I'm on my own and I break down there. Somehow that all seems more manageable than in public, in the middle of my shift, in front of some random.  I haven’t been as low as I got that night in since I was fifteen.

“Sometimes it takes an overwhelming breakdown to have an undeniable breakthrough.”

So I'm standing there sobbing my way through orders and this guy drives up to the window to pay for his food, sees that I'm resembling a human panda and asks me if I was okay? For some reason, I just told it to him straight, that I screwed up so bad, not just tonight, but my whole life and I genuinely had no clue of how I was ever going to get it back on track. He took a long look at me and just said "Jesus loves you. No matter what you’ve done he loves you." And it was like something finally clicked. I had been told this fact for so so so so soooooo long but I never really understood it until then. He loves me in spite of the fact that I failed high school. He loves me even though I can't do anything without second guessing and over analysing every little fact. HE LOVES ME.

So yes, I still get high and low sometimes but unlike the past eighteen years, I have someone who's with me where ever I am, however, I feel and loves me through all of my insecurities and anxiety and I find that to be a truly beautiful thing!!!! I hope you know this awesome truth the same way I do, but if you don't feel free to comment below or message me (all my social media links are on my blog) or Sarah and we'd be stoked to talk to you!! Hope you've had as much fun reading this as I had sharing it with you! 

See ya around pal,
XO Lavinia

BEAUTY FROM ASHES

Thursday, 20 July 2017



Hey there!! I’m Lavinia; an eighteen y/o girl in love with my Saviour, fashion and all things pink.  I’m so excited to be able to do this guest post! I should admit when Sarah first asked me to share part of my testimony I was a little like ahh... See I’ve only ever shared my testimony once before, to my graduating classmates and I wasn’t too happy with the way that one turned out. Anyways so new slate (blank word doc) whatever, let’s do this.

All my life I've been fully immersed in the Christian faith. I went to Christian schools and my family religiously attends church every Sunday. I went to Girls Rally and Sunday School so it was feasible for me to grow up thinking that I was a good little Christian girl. Like most children brought up in the same circumstances as me I accepted Jesus as my Saviour and Lord when I was four. Or that’s what my mother tells me. I don’t remember that but I remember not having a relationship with God for most my life up until now. Sure, some day’s I’d feel a twinge of guilt over how I acted and recommit, promise myself I’d stop acting as I did and try to follow Gods footsteps but after a few days the warm fuzzy feeling would wear off and I would continue with my life.

https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-XwKsCCr_e-U/WVL9PgWTCEI/AAAAAAAAJC4/XoMzY8wlLv8Nn452MiMfnMkKCQjiXnfTwCLcBGAs/s640/7591801D-955C-478F-9D61-A0DFBC87B62A.png
"All my life I've been fully immersed in the Christian faith"

Ever since I was a little girl I was what society deemed “boy-crazy”. I was the five y/o with a crush, the seven y/o who ran around after boys trying to get them to kiss her (they never did), and the 12v who obsessed over the same guy for longer than she should have. Unfortunately, that particular 12v mindset didn’t depart from me until a couple of months ago, but that’s a story for another day. The point I’m trying to get across is I was that girl who could fall in and out of like with a guy at a moment’s notice.


https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-SIXid1X08nE/WVL9BDkgBxI/AAAAAAAAJC0/7jHoPwP36DAyRWRiOiUfILlaIcXFmJ62QCLcBGAs/s640/4646C6AB-11FA-4996-B220-FB4D10E7E8EF.png
age: two.

When I was fifteen I was insanely in “love” with this guy. We were six days into our “official” relationship when he broke up with me for family reasons. Looking back that was the most 12v relationship of all time, probably belongs in the Guinness book of world records or something. But however stupid it seems now back then it absolutely crushed me. I kept running over those six days in my head trying to figure out what I could have done to change the mess I was in then. The friend and family dramas that followed in the weeks after that pushed me deeper and deeper into the web of depression I found myself entrapped in. About that time I became obsessed with the song Human by Christina Perri. In that song, she sings the lyrics “I can force a smile, I can fake a laugh” those six words became my mantra throughout year 11. Force a smile, fake a laugh, and everything will be okay. I convinced myself that if everything looked okay on the outside the lost feeling I had inside would slowly disappear, that I would forget that every day on the way home from school I just wanted to run in front of a bus and die. That year was the year I felt the furthest from God, my friends, my family, anything really. I was too scared to tell anyone what I was going through and how messed up my mind had gotten that I tried my hardest to fake normality. I would stand up on stage in worship every couple of Sundays and force a smile, fake a laugh, anything to convince the world around me that I wasn’t living in the ashes of my self-implosion. With the help of a friend, I rebuilt my shallow polystyrene world. I got to the point where I could smile and it wouldn’t be forced, some days I felt happy and others I thought I was falling back into the downward spiral. It was a very two steps forward one step back situation but thankfully I got out of that hole. 

After that life continued as normally as it could, I worked my butt off to bring my grades back to where they should be, to actually be friends with my friends and not the random loser girl who sat with them but never said anything. I made amends with my past and slipped back a few times but never as deep as I had been and tried my hardest to move on into my future.

A year and a half went by before I found myself at night church with a bunch of friends where the preacher was preaching a sermon from Matthew 6; focussing specifically on verse 33 where Jesus commands us to "Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." He highlighted the fact that in order to seek God we have to come to him. He doesn't come to us. It literally hit me like a ton of bricks that for my whole life I had been rocking along identifying as a Christian but really I had never sought out the kingdom of God for myself. So on the 25th September 2016, I recommitted my life to the Lord.

https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-MZ-Ixa1-TpI/WVMNxnRWZCI/AAAAAAAAJDM/1uesWF7Hs1I3JVdi_VKgyU30uy5C7YF4gCEwYBhgL/s640/IMGP3985.JPG


Ever since then I've been constantly learning more about who God is and what it means to be a Christian but for me, the biggest lesson I (finally) learned was a couple of months ago when I was at work. I was busy working drive thru (I work at Maccas) with another girl; when one of the managers (who wasn't even running the shift) came in all high and mighty saying that we were so slow, that we were letting down the whole team, it was all our fault that drive was backed up and I was just standing there like bruh? We just got told that kitchen was slow (by the actual manager of the shift). She just looked at me and was like "No Lavinia this one's your fault." Then I got sent on a break and thought everything would work itself out while I was gone. It didn’t. The girl I was working with finished her shift so I was in the drive thru all by myself while it was still crazy busy and IDK this manager chick just got stuck in my head and all I could hear as I took the orders was how bad I was and how I was letting down the whole team. In that moment everything that had happened since the beginning of the year; all the failed friendships, the stuffed up life plans, the ridicule, the opinions and the disappointment all just piled up into one big tumbleweed of shit and I just melted down right there in front of some strange women who probably low key started freaking out. I mean what do you do when the cashier just starts bawling her eyes out for no reason?? I guess that’s the great thing about life you can go from cloud nine to 55 feet under in 2 seconds flat.This wasn’t a new thing for me. Well, it kind of was. Normally people get into my head when I'm on my own and I break down there. Somehow that all seems more manageable than in public, in the middle of my shift, in front of some random.  I haven’t been as low as I got that night in since I was fifteen.

“Sometimes it takes an overwhelming breakdown to have an undeniable breakthrough.”

So I'm standing there sobbing my way through orders and this guy drives up to the window to pay for his food, sees that I'm resembling a human panda and asks me if I was okay? For some reason, I just told it to him straight, that I screwed up so bad, not just tonight, but my whole life and I genuinely had no clue of how I was ever going to get it back on track. He took a long look at me and just said "Jesus loves you. No matter what you’ve done he loves you." And it was like something finally clicked. I had been told this fact for so so so so soooooo long but I never really understood it until then. He loves me in spite of the fact that I failed high school. He loves me even though I can't do anything without second guessing and over analysing every little fact. HE LOVES ME.

So yes, I still get high and low sometimes but unlike the past eighteen years, I have someone who's with me where ever I am, however, I feel and loves me through all of my insecurities and anxiety and I find that to be a truly beautiful thing!!!! I hope you know this awesome truth the same way I do, but if you don't feel free to comment below or message me (all my social media links are on my blog) or Sarah and we'd be stoked to talk to you!! Hope you've had as much fun reading this as I had sharing it with you! 

See ya around pal,
XO Lavinia

I looooove music, as you should all know by now. I listen to music on the daily and more often than not, it's worship music. I'll be honest, the past few days I've just been listening to Taylor Swift's music because someone finally put it on Spotify - God bless that person.

For today's post, I thought I would share my top 5 favourite worship tunes right now. What are some of your favourite worship songs right now? Let me know in the comments!

1. THROUGH IT ALL - MOSAIC MSC


2. EXTRAVAGENT - STEFFANY GRETZINGER


3. WONDER - AMANDA COOK


4. MIRACLES - JESUS CULTURE


5. FALLING INTO YOU (ACOUSTIC) - HILLSONG YOUNG & FREE



Until next time,
S

CURRENT WORSHIP FAVES

Monday, 10 July 2017


I looooove music, as you should all know by now. I listen to music on the daily and more often than not, it's worship music. I'll be honest, the past few days I've just been listening to Taylor Swift's music because someone finally put it on Spotify - God bless that person.

For today's post, I thought I would share my top 5 favourite worship tunes right now. What are some of your favourite worship songs right now? Let me know in the comments!

1. THROUGH IT ALL - MOSAIC MSC


2. EXTRAVAGENT - STEFFANY GRETZINGER


3. WONDER - AMANDA COOK


4. MIRACLES - JESUS CULTURE


5. FALLING INTO YOU (ACOUSTIC) - HILLSONG YOUNG & FREE



Until next time,
S
This photo just shows how in awe I am of my mother ☆
A woman of stature, grace and endless amounts of hugs. A woman, who despite how she feels, continues to put others before herself. A woman who constantly reminds us she loves us with simple phrases such as, "have you eaten today?" "how was your sleep last night?" "do you need a ride?" "want to go for coffee?" "what do you want for dinner?"

A woman who constantly reminds us that it's about the little things in life and that you can try, but money doesn't really buy happiness - but it will work for a little bit. A woman who provides a safe environment to live, think, act, sing, talk, dance etc. In your eyes, she'll always be beautiful. 

A woman who will hold you tight when you've just broken up with the boy you love and remind you that God has a plan and some good will come out of this. A woman who'll threaten to go talk to the parents of the bullies that wouldn't leave you alone. A woman who just wants to see you succeed and thrive in your passion. She'll constantly remind you that it's totally human to not like the way you look and that you're beautiful just as you are. 

Her love is something that no one can explain. It's made of deep devotion, sacrifice, and pain. It's endless and unselfish. Nothing can destroy it. It's patient and forgiving. It never fails or falters. 

A woman who just wants to see you thrive and grow into the wonderful human being you are. She's full of second chances and forgiveness. You can count on her for anything and you know she'll always be there for you. No matter what age you are - she'll always love you. She's interested in your life and wants to hear all your stories. Her advice heals and trust me - she's pretty much always right. 

She'll wipe the tears off your cheeks and remind you how strong you are. When you're unwell - she'll stay by your side. She's a prayer warrior and you're always the first in her prayers. She's a gift from God. 

This is a woman you need in your life - and if you don't have that, I apologise. I pray you have someone in your life with all these attributes. 

A blessing, an inspiration, a friend - that's a mother. I'm so thankful for mine - what about you?

BLESSINGS UPON BLESSINGS: MOTHERS

Tuesday, 20 June 2017

This photo just shows how in awe I am of my mother ☆
A woman of stature, grace and endless amounts of hugs. A woman, who despite how she feels, continues to put others before herself. A woman who constantly reminds us she loves us with simple phrases such as, "have you eaten today?" "how was your sleep last night?" "do you need a ride?" "want to go for coffee?" "what do you want for dinner?"

A woman who constantly reminds us that it's about the little things in life and that you can try, but money doesn't really buy happiness - but it will work for a little bit. A woman who provides a safe environment to live, think, act, sing, talk, dance etc. In your eyes, she'll always be beautiful. 

A woman who will hold you tight when you've just broken up with the boy you love and remind you that God has a plan and some good will come out of this. A woman who'll threaten to go talk to the parents of the bullies that wouldn't leave you alone. A woman who just wants to see you succeed and thrive in your passion. She'll constantly remind you that it's totally human to not like the way you look and that you're beautiful just as you are. 

Her love is something that no one can explain. It's made of deep devotion, sacrifice, and pain. It's endless and unselfish. Nothing can destroy it. It's patient and forgiving. It never fails or falters. 

A woman who just wants to see you thrive and grow into the wonderful human being you are. She's full of second chances and forgiveness. You can count on her for anything and you know she'll always be there for you. No matter what age you are - she'll always love you. She's interested in your life and wants to hear all your stories. Her advice heals and trust me - she's pretty much always right. 

She'll wipe the tears off your cheeks and remind you how strong you are. When you're unwell - she'll stay by your side. She's a prayer warrior and you're always the first in her prayers. She's a gift from God. 

This is a woman you need in your life - and if you don't have that, I apologise. I pray you have someone in your life with all these attributes. 

A blessing, an inspiration, a friend - that's a mother. I'm so thankful for mine - what about you?











I'd never looked forward to being any age more than I did for the big 1  8  .

I honestly thought being 18 would open doors of opportunity for me but as it turns out, people's idea of being 18 involves getting incredibly drunk and voting for the worst party possible just for the laughs.

Seventeen was a beautiful age for me. I had a lot of firsts - first job, first kiss, first boyfriend, first car, first time preaching, first time being able to drive by myself, first furniture purchase (I love my white desk, cheers Warehouse Stationary). It never really hit me just how much I would miss being 17. That funny in between age where everything is just fine. At least that's how it was for me anyways - we're all different. I was incredibly happy at 17, I could stay there forever if I wanted to.

See the thing is, it's hard to think about growing up when you're in the midst of doing it. It's hard to know what you want. Sometimes there are so many voices in your head - it's difficult to actually know which is yours. Whether it be your parents pestering you to make up your mind about college next year or whether it's your pastor's constantly feeding your mind with practical life tips while telling you to listen out for what God is saying. It can sometimes get too much - and I completely understand.

When I turned 18, I was on a high. I thought I was invincible. I thought now that I had all this freedom, nothing could stop me and my life from here on out would be perfect. As you know from my last post - I was so wrong.

See the thing is, life is never going to be perfect. You're always going to have good and bad days. Sometimes it feels like the end of the world and other days it feels like life can't get any better than it is.

Throughout the first few days of being 18, I've realised a few things.

There's no reset button in life. You can't take anything back, and you can't undo anything. All of your actions have consequences, and the things you say and do today will have a lasting impact on the rest of your life. You have to understand that, and be aware of that while making decisions.

I'm learning to accept that and honestly I wouldn't trade the last few days for anything.

Here's to a year of learning from my mistakes and how to be an adult. Here's to more coffee and more God. Here's to the good and the bad. Here's to recovery.

I only intend to go up from here friends - what about you?

EIGHTEEN

Thursday, 15 June 2017












I'd never looked forward to being any age more than I did for the big 1  8  .

I honestly thought being 18 would open doors of opportunity for me but as it turns out, people's idea of being 18 involves getting incredibly drunk and voting for the worst party possible just for the laughs.

Seventeen was a beautiful age for me. I had a lot of firsts - first job, first kiss, first boyfriend, first car, first time preaching, first time being able to drive by myself, first furniture purchase (I love my white desk, cheers Warehouse Stationary). It never really hit me just how much I would miss being 17. That funny in between age where everything is just fine. At least that's how it was for me anyways - we're all different. I was incredibly happy at 17, I could stay there forever if I wanted to.

See the thing is, it's hard to think about growing up when you're in the midst of doing it. It's hard to know what you want. Sometimes there are so many voices in your head - it's difficult to actually know which is yours. Whether it be your parents pestering you to make up your mind about college next year or whether it's your pastor's constantly feeding your mind with practical life tips while telling you to listen out for what God is saying. It can sometimes get too much - and I completely understand.

When I turned 18, I was on a high. I thought I was invincible. I thought now that I had all this freedom, nothing could stop me and my life from here on out would be perfect. As you know from my last post - I was so wrong.

See the thing is, life is never going to be perfect. You're always going to have good and bad days. Sometimes it feels like the end of the world and other days it feels like life can't get any better than it is.

Throughout the first few days of being 18, I've realised a few things.

There's no reset button in life. You can't take anything back, and you can't undo anything. All of your actions have consequences, and the things you say and do today will have a lasting impact on the rest of your life. You have to understand that, and be aware of that while making decisions.

I'm learning to accept that and honestly I wouldn't trade the last few days for anything.

Here's to a year of learning from my mistakes and how to be an adult. Here's to more coffee and more God. Here's to the good and the bad. Here's to recovery.

I only intend to go up from here friends - what about you?


On the 11th of June, just a day after my birthday, I saw my life spiral down from my high of turning 18 to bursting into flames in a mere 24 hours. Sounds a little dramatic but that's how I felt - I felt like I had failed everyone and that there was no coming back from it, this was just my life now. The days following involved me crying every 10 minutes, drinking at times I shouldn't be drinking and meetings upon meetings about how I could fix my life.

Burning out - a term I never thought I would ever link to my life. The official term for burn out is: ruin one's health or become completely exhausted through overwork. 

To me, it seemed like the world had turned against me - it still feels like that. I've been overworked in all areas of my life - I let my guard down when I shouldn't have, and I don't know how to say 'no'. I realised that I may try and do everything because the idea of being a leader excites me and I'd love to prove to myself that I can balance all these not so little things on my plate, but that led me astray. I drifted so far from God I didn't even realise it, until that night on the 11th of June. 

So why did I change the name of this blog? well there are a couple of reasons:

1. When I first started this blog, I actually couldn't think of a name so I went with The Worship Intern because that's what I am. I told myself at a later date I'd change the name to what is relevant in my life.

2. It's been 3 days and I don't feel much better, but I'm going to do something about that. I'm changing the way I look, think, act. I'm not changing so drastically that I'm not Sarah Penn, but I'm changing enough to leave behind the old, burnt out Sarah. 

Falling into You. There's a song by Hillsong name Falling Into You and that song is all about pressing into God because literally without Him, you can't do anything. I was listening to the song and I thought - this is me, this is exactly what I need right now. I need more of God. I need him to swoop in and pick me up off my knees and help me turn my life around because I never want to feel like this again. 

Speaking of change, I'll be turning this blog into more of a lifestyle blog so it's relevant to everyone, not just people in the worship field of ministry. I'll continue to do worship related things because that's my passion - but we all need a little change sometimes.

So welcome to Falling into You - I hope you join me as I journey through this. 

SOMETIMES WE ALL JUST NEED A LITTLE CHANGE

Wednesday, 14 June 2017



On the 11th of June, just a day after my birthday, I saw my life spiral down from my high of turning 18 to bursting into flames in a mere 24 hours. Sounds a little dramatic but that's how I felt - I felt like I had failed everyone and that there was no coming back from it, this was just my life now. The days following involved me crying every 10 minutes, drinking at times I shouldn't be drinking and meetings upon meetings about how I could fix my life.

Burning out - a term I never thought I would ever link to my life. The official term for burn out is: ruin one's health or become completely exhausted through overwork. 

To me, it seemed like the world had turned against me - it still feels like that. I've been overworked in all areas of my life - I let my guard down when I shouldn't have, and I don't know how to say 'no'. I realised that I may try and do everything because the idea of being a leader excites me and I'd love to prove to myself that I can balance all these not so little things on my plate, but that led me astray. I drifted so far from God I didn't even realise it, until that night on the 11th of June. 

So why did I change the name of this blog? well there are a couple of reasons:

1. When I first started this blog, I actually couldn't think of a name so I went with The Worship Intern because that's what I am. I told myself at a later date I'd change the name to what is relevant in my life.

2. It's been 3 days and I don't feel much better, but I'm going to do something about that. I'm changing the way I look, think, act. I'm not changing so drastically that I'm not Sarah Penn, but I'm changing enough to leave behind the old, burnt out Sarah. 

Falling into You. There's a song by Hillsong name Falling Into You and that song is all about pressing into God because literally without Him, you can't do anything. I was listening to the song and I thought - this is me, this is exactly what I need right now. I need more of God. I need him to swoop in and pick me up off my knees and help me turn my life around because I never want to feel like this again. 

Speaking of change, I'll be turning this blog into more of a lifestyle blog so it's relevant to everyone, not just people in the worship field of ministry. I'll continue to do worship related things because that's my passion - but we all need a little change sometimes.

So welcome to Falling into You - I hope you join me as I journey through this. 

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